Friday, September 29, 2023

The Bucket List


Hi everyone,

Everyone has a list of things they want to do or achieve in their lifetime. This is what is known as a "bucket list". About a month ago, a young man by the name of Declan, passed away from complications caused by Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. Dec and his mom, Alexandra, had a YouTube channel that I recently subscribed to and started watching their videos. The channel is called Decs Rolling Bucket List and it documented their completing of the activities on that list like travel destinations and meeting his favorite YouTuber among other things. Declan had a similar outlook as I do, where he made a decision to live his life to the fullest despite the illness. I found out he passed a few days after and I recently watched the Eulogy given by his best friend, his wonderful mom. Alex plans on continuing to fulfill Declans bucket list. I'm so sorry your loss Alex… It looks like the two of you had a similar relationship as my mom and I. Remember that he will always be with you in spirit and memory. May he rest in nothing but the sweetest of peace fellow Duchenne Warrior.




As you know I myself suffer from Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. I was diagnosed in 1983 at the age of two and given a life expectancy of 18 to 23. Somehow I'm going to be 42 in a month. While I am doing very stable and healthy and don't plan on going anywhere soon, I still have a merciless terminal illness and I don't know what the future holds. There are still a lot of things I would like to do in this life that I hope to accomplish. I fully intend to live my life to the fullest as well. Honestly, none of us really know when our times up regardless of health or illness. I think we all should work on a bucket list and try to do as much as we can. We only live once. I'm going to include my bucket list below. My mom and I plan on getting out to do things as long as I can. So here we go.



Finding love! Either a girlfriend or female companion is at the top.
Make inter-abled relationships common.
Get my Muscular Dystrophy shaving cream challenge to go viral.
Get some big celebrities to do the MDA shaving cream challenge.
Find someone to do holiday themed MDA challenge videos again with.
Get my MDA shaving cream challenge on the news channels.
Get all the reporters and anchors from all New England news channels to do the MDA shaving cream challenge.
Get more of you on my Facebook to do my MDA shaving cream challenge(Ask me about it!).
Get more people to do my sensory therapy activity/challenge with your feet(Just ask lol. It's fun!).
Invite more of my former classmates over.
Drive across Canada.
Visit Vancouver.
Visit the Pacific Northwest of the United States.
Visit Yellowstone(couldn't get in last year).
Visit other National Parks in the United States and Canada.
Visit the Mall of America.
Visit San Diego Zoo again.
Visit the north side of the Grand Canyon.
Visit the 9-11 museum in NYC.
Visit the crater in Arizona.
Visit Central Park in NYC.
Go on another cruise.
Get a dog.
Get new rims for the van.
Meet my friend Jasmine in Canada(she's a artist and lead vocalist for Polarity).
Meet more celebrities. Actors, Actresses, and Musicians
Be an extra in an Alien film or one of the Walking Dead spinoffs(as a zombie because I probably wouldn't survive long in an apocalypse environment).
Feel sand and mud again. Its been a long time since I walked and for people like me who have lost the use of their legs you'd be surprised at how much we miss the ground under our feet. It's the biggest reason why my friend and I started the sensory activity.
Win a powerball jackpot
Get the cat to sit on my lap for once… Pepper you're an asshole!
Get a tattoo. That can't happen now though I'm on a blood thinner.





I guess that's it for now. A lot of these are going to be hard to accomplish because of the amount of travel involved and handicapped accessibility. I mentioned my challenge a lot lol. I just don't have anyone to do it with currently. I'll probably be adding more over time if I think of anything else.

Saturday, September 23, 2023

Footprints in Mashed Potatoes: Sensory Therapy for your feetπŸ‘£

Hi everyone,

I want to share a fun sensory therapy activity I've been exploring since 2019. It involves putting your feet into different substances, similar to "sensory walks" done in some preschools. This idea stemmed from my shaving cream challenge, and my Occupational Therapist thinks it's great. It's a form of artificial grounding.
 
How to do it:
Fill a tub or aluminum pan with your chosen substance - it can be food-related or inedible like shaving cream, slime, mud, or spa gel. The most important safety rule is to always sit in a chair while doing this activity. This is crucial to prevent slipping, as some substances can be very slippery. Sitting ensures you stay safe while enjoying the experience.

Once seated, remove your shoes and socks, and immerse your feet in the substance. Describe the sensation you feel. I recommend trying various textures for a diverse experience. If indoors, have a towel and water tub ready; if outdoors, choose a warm day with access to a hose. We've used pancake mix, mashed potatoes, cool whip, jello, pudding, marshmallow fluff, mud, slime, shaving cream, and spa gel for jelly pedicures. Feel free to use whatever you prefer, but always prioritize safety.


Purpose and benefits:
This activity serves as sensory therapy, stimulating the sensitive nerves in your feet. It can improve circulation and sensation, especially with warm substances. Benefits include reducing pain, inflammation, stress, and improving sleep. It's particularly helpful for those with damaged foot nerves or autism, but anyone can benefit. It's like a spa treatment or massage, potentially great for skin health too.

Personal experience and mental health aspects:
After surgery on my feet when I was a teenager, some nerves in the soles of my feet were damaged. This left them extremely sensitive to touch, yet paradoxically numbed them to where I couldn't feel soft or squishy sensations on the bottom of my feet. This therapy has been instrumental in helping restore more normal sensation. Recently, I began seeing a mental health counselor for depression. They enthusiastically support this activity, urging me to involve others. It's important for my happiness and mental health, and it benefits those who participate too. Research shows it's particularly calming for individuals with anxiety and ADHD.

Initially, I started this activity with my best friend Kayla. Doing this with her was extremely important to me, and I was so happy to share the experience. She enjoyed it too, which made it even more special. Unfortunately, we had to stop because her partner at the time was uncomfortable with it and refused to understand or tolerate her doing it. This made me feel like I was doing something wrong, like I was a freak. The whole experience left me feeling hurt and misunderstood. It made me hesitant to continue or ask others, fearing they might react similarly.

However, I decided to give it another try and was pleasantly surprised by the positive reception. I shared about it on social media, and many people were supportive and eager to try it. This helped me realize that there was nothing wrong with the activity or with me for enjoying it.

Who can participate:
Everyone is welcome, though girls tend to be more receptive than guys. Kids especially love it for the sensory experience and the chance to make a mess. My physical and occupational therapists, as well as teachers and healthcare workers, endorse this as both physical and mental therapy.

In conclusion, this activity has been a source of joy, social connection, and therapeutic benefit for me. The sensation of different substances squishing between your toes is incredibly satisfying and fun. That's actually one of the best parts!. It has the potential to help many others. Please just remember, always sit down to ensure safety, and enjoy exploring these delightful sensations with your feet in a comfortable setting!

Things used so far:

Pudding
Jello
Mud/Fake Mud
Mashed Potatoes
Bisquick Pancake Mix
Marshmallow Fluff
Nutella (gross) (It felt good. It was soft and very thick, but getting it off was
really tough.) 
Spa Gel
Slime
Cool Whip
Shaving Cream
 
Mud and shaving cream combined
Spa Gel and Shaving Cream combined
Mashed potatoes and shaving cream combined
Cool Whip and Shaving Cream combined
Nutella and shaving cream combined



Any suggestions?

Tuesday, June 13, 2023

I finally got Covid

Hi everyone, 

On Monday, May 22nd, 2023, my mom and I tested positive for Covid. After 3 years of avoiding it, it finally caught up with us and yes, we’re vaccinated. My mom wasn’t too symptomatic, she just had a cough, but I was definitely feeling the symptoms. It was a little scary because the Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy weakened my respiratory system. I usually can’t get a cold or the flu because it can become pneumonia. Although since I got the Trach in 2018, I’ve had one cold after my 40th birthday and it wasn’t bad at all. In fact, it passed pretty quickly. However, this turned out to be a very mild case of Covid and was not really life threatening to me. I was lucky that I got it now and not in 2020, when it was much more serious or when Delta was going around. I definitely would not have been as lucky if I got it then... It likely would have killed me. 

I remember when I went to bed the night before; I had a little more congestion, which happens sometimes, so we didn’t really think anything was off. I knew something was going on when I wasn’t able to fall asleep because I rarely have any problems doing that lol. I don’t know if you know this, but insomnia is a symptom of Covid. I still felt fine, so again I figured it wasn’t anything. Then I got the chills like I had the flu and I was like “Oh Shit! This can’t be a good thing”. I tried to sleep, and I finally did for about an hour. When I woke up, I felt like shit. I was more congested in my upper respiratory area and in my sinuses. I also had a weight on my chest like my cat Pepper was sitting on my chest (he’s got a fat ass!). My mom was feeling kinda gross too in the morning, but not as much as I was. I told her we should probably do a Covid test, and she agreed. We did me first and it almost immediately turned positive and when my mom did hers, it did the same thing. We officially had the Covid virus for the first time. 

As soon as we discovered we were positive, we headed to the Emergency room. They admitted me to Cape Cod Hospital for four days and they administered an antiviral medication called Remdesivir by IV. I felt a lot better by the end of the week and got discharged that Thursday. After that, it took another week to fully recover. It was a little uncomfortable breathing for a few days, but I could manage. Again, I have to say I think my Trach actually made it easier. We have direct access to my upper airways with the suction machine and can clear them quickly. Plus, I can connect a nebulizer machine directly to my ventilator which allows me to breathe in a saline vapor to break up congestion or albuterol to open my airways. It was very helpful to alleviate most of the respiratory symptoms. The good thing is that the respiratory infection stayed in the upper trachea and it never went into my lungs which would have been bad. The respiratory issues weren’t bad to me, It was the Gastrointestinal issues that really sucked. I will spare you those details lol. Basically in 60% of people who are entral fed through a stomach tube like myself(btw I still do eat by mouth all the timeπŸ‘) experience issues in the GI tract because of the Covid attacking the stomach lining. It was very unpleasantly uncomfortable. That lasted a little longer than everything else and I would love if I never experienced that again. It felt like the alien monster from the movie Alien wanted out of my stomach. I was very uncomfortable on my ride out to Ohio but it pretty much went away when we got there. Yes we made sure we were negative before leaving before anybody asks. I was able to enjoy the rest of my trip so that was good.

I’m doing great now! I’m back to 100% and I don’t seem to be having any residual symptoms or complications from it either thankfully. I’m back to eating by mouth and I don’t have anything in my chest. It’s like nothing happened. I’m really glad to have gotten it over with and hopefully I never go through that ever again.

The end! Thank you so much for reading!

Thursday, May 11, 2023

Different Types of Muscular Dystrophy


Hi everyone,

In this post, I am going to talk about the 9 major types of Muscular Dystrophy, the onset of each type. and the signs and symptoms. I will also talk about ALS which is similar to Muscular Dystrophy. Hope this is informative!


1. Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy(DMD)

This is the one I have. Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy is the most severe form of the disease and is caused by a mutation in the dystrophin gene. It was named after French Neurologist, Dr. Guillaume-Benjamin-Amand Duchenne, who described and detailed the illness in a young boy with the condition in his book in 1861

  • Onset  
Between 2 and 6 years of age.


  • Signs and Symptoms.
General muscle weakness and deterioration. Boys with DMD are usually late walkers. Initially the pelvis, upper arms, and upper legs are the first affected. Eventually it involves all the voluntary muscles throughout the body and the boys will require a wheelchair. Tightness in the joints may also occur. The cardiac and respiratory systems are eventually affected as well and will require mechanical ventilation. One third of boys with DMD experience learning disabilities. Life expectancy is usually into the early 20s but people are beginning to live decades longer now(I'm 41). Duchenne is only seen in boys but can rarely affect women who have much milder symptoms and a better prognosis.


2. Becker Muscular Dystrophy(BMD)

Becker Muscular Dystrophy is an inherited neuromuscular disease caused by a mutation in the dystrophin gene. It was named after Neurologist and Geneticist, Dr. Peter Emil Becker, who published an article about this type of the disease in 1955.

  • Onset

Between adolescence to adulthood.


  • Signs and Symptoms.

Since Becker is similar to Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, the symptoms are almost identical but less severe. There is general muscle weakness and deterioration. It initially affects the pelvis, upper legs, and upper arms. It can affect the cardiac and respiratory system but usually later in adulthood. The rate of muscle deterioration can vary between patients. Typically BMD progresses a lot slower and the patient will maintain the ability to walk usually until 16 but sometimes well into adulthood. As with Duchenne, the disease is usually always limited to males due to it being an X-chromosome linked disorder. Life expectancy is between 40 and 60 years old


3. Congenital Muscular Dystrophy(CMD)

Congenital Muscular Dystrophy is actually a group of Muscular Dystrophies which begin at birth. DMD is caused by the loss of glycoproteins in cells due to the gene mutation which affects the normal function of muscles. This type of mutation causes an increased chance of the muscles becoming injured from normal use. It also reduces the muscles' ability to repair any damage. There are 30 different types of CMD all ranging in different severities.

  • Onset

Begins at birth


  • Signs and Symptoms

Most children with CMD exhibit progressive loss of muscle mass although the degree of severity and progression can vary. Symptoms are similar to other MDs. General muscle weakness, low muscle tone, possible joint tightness and deformities, respiratory problems, eye problems, and possible learning disabilities.



4. Distal Muscular Dystrophy(DD)

Distal MD was first described in 1902. It is a type of MD which affects the distal muscles, which are those of the lower arms, hands, lower legs, and feet.

  • Onset

Between the ages of 40 to 60


  • Signs and Symptoms

Weakness and wasting of muscles of the hands, forearms, and lower legs. In most cases, muscle mass in the affected areas become visibly wasted. In other cases arms, leg or trunk muscles may weaken to the point where mobility will become decreased. Some forms of Distal MD affect the muscles used for speaking and swallowing, and others may affect the heart. Intellect is not affected. Progression is slow. It rarely leads to total disability. 

 

5. Emery-Dreifuss Muscular Dystrophy(EDMD)

EDMD like all Muscular Dystrophies is genetic. It is caused by mutations in the genes that produce the proteins in the membrane surrounding the nucleus of each muscle cell. The illness is named after British Geneticist Alan Emery and American Neurologist Fritz E. Dreifuss who first described the condition in the 1960s.

  • Onset

Childhood to early teens


  • Signs and Symptoms
The symptoms of EDMD usually manifest by the age of 10 years old. Early symptoms include toe walking due to stiff Achilles tendons. Other symptoms include weakness and wasting of shoulder, upper arm, and shin muscles. Joint deformities are common and make arm, neck, heel, and spine movements difficult. But progression of muscle weakness is slow and these issues may not become difficult until later in life. Intellect is not affected by EDMD. Sudden death may occur from cardiac problems. Life expectancy is middle aged due to Pulmonary or Cardiac failure.


6. Facioscapulohumeral Muscular Dystrophy(FSHD)

FSHD is a form of Muscular Dystrophy which mostly affects the muscles of the face, shoulders, and upper arms. It can cause muscles weakness in other parts of the body. FSHD is the third most common type of Muscular Dystrophy behind Becker and Duchenne.

  • Onset

Childhood to early adults


  • Signs and Symptoms

The age of onset, severity, and progression vary significantly. Symptoms usually begin in the teen years. Symptoms include facial muscle weakness and weakness with some wasting of shoulders and upper arms. Abdominal weakness, hip and lower leg weakness, joint and spinal abnormalities, retinal abnormalities, and mild hearing loss can also be experienced. Progression is slow with periods of rapid deterioration. Life span may be many decades after onset. Intellect is not affected.

 

7. Limb-Girdle Muscular Dystrophy(LGMD)

LGMD usually affects the proximal muscles around the hips and shoulders. Proximal muscles are the ones closest to the center of the body. The shoulder girdle is the bony structure that surrounds the shoulder area. The pelvic girdle is the bony structure that surrounds the hips. These are known as the limb girdles and is where the weakness and atrophy of the muscles occur giving this type of MD it's name. LGMD is the fourth most common type of Muscular Dystrophy.


  • Onset

Late childhood to middle age


  • Signs and Symptoms

Symptoms include weakness and wasting, affecting shoulder girdle and pelvic girdle first. Progression is slow. The Cardiac and Respiratory muscles can be affected sometimes but not as much as other types of Muscular Dystrophy. Intellect is usually not affected. Life expectancy is generally normal.


8. Myotonic(DM)

DM causes weakness of the voluntary muscles. The degree of progression and weakness vary to the type of DM and the age of the person with the disorder. Myotonia, the inability to relax muscles at will, is also experienced with DM. Like for example if someone with the disorder shakes another person's hand it may be difficult for them to let go.


  • Onset

Ages 20 to 40


  • Signs and Symptoms

Symptoms include weakness of all muscle groups and delayed relaxation of muscles after contraction. It affects the face, feet, hands, and neck first. Progression is slow, sometimes spanning 50 to 60 years. An infantile form causes more severe problems. Intellect is not affected in some forms of DM where in others it is. People with DM are more susceptible to cancer as well.


9. Oculopharyngeal Muscular Dystrophy(OPMD)

OPMD is a slow progressing type of Muscular Dystrophy that affects specifically the muscles of the eyelids and the throat. Additionally, the distal and proximal muscles can be affected.


  • Onset

Ages 40 to 70


  • Signs and Symptoms

Symptoms affect muscles of eyelids and throat causing weakening of throat muscles. Over time, this causes inability to swallow and severe weight loss from lack of food. Progression is slow. Other symptoms, can include weakness of the tongue, weakness of the proximal muscles of the lower extremities, pooling saliva in the throat, limited upward gaze, weakness of the facial muscles, and weaknesses of the proximal muscles of the upper extremities.

 

10. Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) The disease from Hell

ALS is a relentless merciless disease of the nervous system that affects the nerves in control of voluntary muscle movement. With ALS, motor neurons, nerve cells that control muscle cells, are gradually lost. As these motor neurons deteriorate, the muscles they are in control of become weak and cease to function. Leading to muscle weakness, disability, and eventually death. ALS is the most common motor neuron disease. In the US, ALS is also called Lou Gehrigs disease, named after the New York Yankees baseball player who was diagnosed with ALS in 1939 and lived with it until 1941 when he passed. The disease was first described by Dr. Jean-Martin Charcot in the 19th century.

  • Onset

Most people who get ALS are between the ages of 40 and 70, with an average age of 55 at the time of diagnosis. However, some cases of the disease do occur in people in their twenties and thirties.


  • Signs and Symptoms
  • Early stage

Muscles may be weak and soft, or they may be stiff, tight, and spastic. Muscle cramping and twitching occurs, as does atrophy of the muscles. Symptoms may be limited to a single body region or mild symptoms may affect more than one region. The person may experience fatigue, poor balance, slurred words, a weak grip, tripping when walking, or other minor symptoms. Sometimes this stage occurs before a diagnosis is made.


  • Middle Stage

Symptoms become more widespread. Some muscles are paralyzed, while others are weakened or unaffected. Muscle cramping and twitching may continue. Unused muscles may cause contractures in the joints, in which the joints become rigid, painful, and sometimes deformed.  If the person falls they may not be able to stand back up alone and need assistance. Driving no longer becomes possible.Weakness in swallowing muscles will cause choking, difficulty eating, and managing saliva. Weakness in breathing muscles will cause respiratory issues, especially when lying down. Some people experience bouts of uncontrolled and inappropriate laughing or crying. Despite how it seems, the person usually doesn’t feel particularly sad or happy.


  • Late Stage

Most voluntary muscles have become paralyzed. The muscles that help move air in and out of the lungs are severely compromised. Mobility has become extremely limited, and help is needed in caring for most personal needs. Poor respiration will cause fatigue, fuzzy thinking, headaches, and susceptibility to pneumonia. Speech, or eating and drinking by mouth, may not be possible.


  • End stage

The vast majority of deaths in ALS are the result of respiratory failure, a process that progresses slowly over months. Medications can relieve discomfort, anxiety, and fear caused by respiratory insufficiency. Far less-common causes of death in ALS include malnutrition as a result of swallowing problems, pulmonary embolism (a blockage in one of the arteries of the lungs), abnormalities in the heart’s electrical pacing system called cardiac arrhythmias, and pneumonia as the result of aspiration (when food or fluid gets into the lungs). Hospice care, in a facility or in the home, focuses on providing comfort and maintaining quality of life by supporting the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of the individual with ALS and their family members. Families should contact hospice early on to see what in-home services are available even before the most advanced stage.

    

At MDA clinics, physicians work closely with palliative care teams to coordinate treatment with in-home hospice care providers, assisted living facilities, or inpatient hospice settings. Such cooperation helps ensure the person with ALS has the most peaceful and painless experience possible.

The life expectancy of those with ALS is two to five years after diagnosis, some people live five years, 10 years or even longer. The British theoretical physicist, Stephen Hawking, had ALS for over 50 years.

 

That concludes this blog post. Thank you everyone for reading!

 

*The Information in this blog was provided by the Muscular Dystrophy association website as well as the Johns-Hopkins Medical website, the University of Rochester Medical Center website, the NHS Inform website, and the ALS Association website. Links below.

Friday, April 21, 2023

Invasive Vs. Non-Invasive Ventilation: Advantages, risks, and complications - And my experience with both types of ventilation.

 Hi everyone! 

In this post, I'm going to discuss the two major types of mechanical life support. I will also discuss my experience with both types. I'm not a doctor or an expert by any means so don't base any decision off my post. This is simply my view.

When you have Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, eventually your lungs are going to start being affected and you are going to need some sort of mechanical ventilation to help with breathing. There are two types of this, Invasive and Non-invasive(NIV). I have experienced using both and I will describe each.

Non-invasive ventilation(NIV)

With this type, the person uses a face mask strapped to their face usually over the nose which is connected to a ventilator. The ventilator pushes air into your lungs. Forms of noninvasive ventilation include machines you can use at home, like a CPAP(Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) machine or a BiPAP(Bi-level Positive Airway Pressure) machine. There are several advantages as well as risks and complications with this method which I will discuss.

Advantages-

  • Easy to apply and remove masks.
  • Improves patient comfort.
  • Reduces need for sedation.
  • Preserves speech, swallowing, and eating.
  • Reduced cost of equipment and length of hospital stay.


Risks and Complications-

 

System

  • Slower  correction of  gas exchange abnormalities
  • Gastric distention

Mask

  • Air leakage
  • Eye irritation
  • Damage to the facial skin(breakdown)


Lack of airway protection and access
 

  • Suctioning secretions
    Aspiration into lungs

     
  • Possible Claustrophobia
  • Increased work load and supervision

Invasive ventilation(Tracheostomy)

With this type, the person has a Tracheostomy tube surgically inserted through an incision in their neck and directly into the trachea providing an artificial airway. The tracheostomy tube is then usually connected to a portable ventilator. People with debilitating neuromuscular diseases such as myself as well as people who suffered a catastrophic spinal cord injury and are unable to breathe on their own may require Invasive Ventilation. In some cases the tracheostomy can be removed eventually. There are several advantages as well as risks and complications with this method which I will discuss. 

Advantages-

  • Bypasses an upper airway obstruction
  • Easier removal of secretions
  • Permits long term mechanical ventilation
  • Permits eating and probably makes it safer
  • Permits speech
  • Less risk of airway damage


Risks and Complications

During and shortly after procedure

  • Bleeding 
  • Air trapped around lungs(Pneumothorax)
  • Damage to esophagus(rare)
  • Injury to vocal cords(rare)
  • Possible blood clots or mucus plugs


Later

  • Decannulation or accidental removal of trach tube
  • Infection in the trachea or around the stoma(the hole in the neck)
  • Damage to windpipe
  • Thinning of the trachea from the tube rubbing against it.

My experience-


I used Non-invasive ventilation from 2000 to 2018. I used a BiPap machine with a mask for 24 hours a day and I couldn't breathe without it. I benefited from the Advantages aside from the sedation part which I never required. However, I also suffered from most of the complications except for the claustrophobia. I rotated a couple different masks to alleviate the stress on my face. One of them I really liked but I couldn't wear it constantly because it would cut into the bridge of my nose and it would feel like my skin was coming off with the mask. The other one would sit right on the edge of my nostrils and after a while would irritate the inside of my nose. Plus it was cumbersome to put on. I continued putting up with it though because the idea of having a tracheostomy scared me. I t was a tube going through a hole in your neck into your trachea. It just seemed very daunting and it would be a big step it, it's usually a permanent change for people with DMD or spinal cord injuries. Despite my doctors insistence that I needed it to continue to live. They were trying to tell me it would improve my quality of life. I just wasn't having it.

Eventually, I didn't have a choice but to switch to Invasive Ventilation. When my respiratory system failed I had to be resuscitated and I almost died. After coming to, I was told that the NIV just wasn't ventilating me enough and hadn't been for years. I was given a couple choices.  I could just let nature take it's course because they weren't sending me home with the NIV the respiratory failure would almost certainly happen again. Or I could get a procedure known as a Tracheostomy where an incision is made in your throat about half way down your neck and they insert a tracheal tube into your trachea. I pretty much decided immediately to do it. After surviving all that it wouldn't be for nothing.

Living with a Trach-

At first, I didn't like it and I thought I made a mistake. I got the constant sensation that I couldn't breathe and I panicked a lot in the few weeks after getting it. After leaving the hospital and rehab, I noticed that I was much more comfortable on my Respironics Trilogy Ventilator. The vents in the hospitals seem to be much different from the ones you use at home. The one I was on in rehab I was breathing really fast so I felt like I wasn't getting enough oxygen it also seemed like the breaths were a lot shallower. A week after arriving home, my respiratory therapist Lauren and my Pulmonary doctor Dr. Cassavetes, came to visit for their routine check up. They actually make house calls from Boston to the Cape. I was an emotional wreck because I was still uncomfortable and thought I was going to be miserable for the rest of my life. I was crying and feeling depressed. Lauren looked at the machine settings and was like why the hell is it set like that? Meaning the rehab respiratory therapist had the completely wrong settings and that was why I was having a hard time. She made a couple adjustments and almost immediately I felt so much better I actually felt like I was breathing normally because I was.

From that day forward, I was so much more comfortable and happy. It was all looking up. I was able to speak again about two months after the surgery. I had no issues with it either it was like I never stopped. After 6 months I was able to begin eating and drinking again and just like the speaking, it was like I never stopped. Everything I was concerned about was proven wrong. I began living my life like normal again. We have to replace the trach tube monthly which is simple and quick. I also need to do a couple nebulizers a day and suction every once in a while but it’s not a big deal. I barely even notice it's there now and I just have normal days without worrying about my respiratory system. I can travel very well too and do we ever. We have to carry a little more equipment if we go out whether locally or long distances but its not a big deal. We went to Wyoming in June 2022 and we've been to North Carolina twice. We just got a new van too so here's to more long road trips.

Since I got the trach, I met some amazing people who are likely Angels in disguise. I met my wonderful nurse Christine Holman the day I came home and we had a lot of good times. In January of 2019, I met my favorite person to ever exist. A young woman named Kayla Sexton came to work as my aide. She is almost definitely an angel. Kayla and I got really close in the four years she worked her. I consider her my sister even though we aren't blood related. She is an amazing and wonderful person. She's so friendly and caring and loves to help everyone. She and her family are very dear to me. I also met several other great nurses because I chose life. Fern G., Kyla Mendes, Stephanie Murphy, Hannah McKnight, Denise Ried, Jennifer Mcneil, Connie Felker, Gail Borel, Susan Rourke, and Erin(I'm sorry I don't know your last name lol). I also made some good friends too. Jennifer Bedard, Krista Sexton(Kaylas sis), Aaliyah and Ryan(Kaylas daughter and son), Kyla Collette and Alex Tuckerman, and their children, Riley and Walker, and Christines husband Nate and her step kids, Max, Joey, Sam, and Ryan and Thuccy. I'm so glad you're all in my life and I'm so happy I chose to fight so I could meet you all. I think I'm going to end this here because its already a novel lol. 

Thank you so much for reading!


 



Thursday, April 20, 2023

New Handicapped Van!

Hi everyone,

About a month ago, my mom and I got a new handicapped accessible vehicle(Pictures at the bottom). We began looking back in 2021 after we borrowed a handicapped van from a friend which I was able to sit up front and see out the windshield. Something I haven't done in 30 years because every van I got since I've had to sit in the middle behind the front seats. The van we had was a 2010 Ford E-150 and, while it was running pretty well, it was aging and would need to be replaced eventually so we wanted something I could sit in front.

At first we wanted an MV-1 which was the van we borrowed. The MV-1 was a purpose built handicapped accessible minivan that was built on a Ford Crown Victoria chassis and was powered originally by a Ford modular 4.6 L V-8 until 2014 when it got a smaller 3.7 L Ford Cyclone V-6. It kinda resembled a cross between a 2008 Honda Pilot, a Honda Element, and a British TX4 taxi cab. Production ended in 2016 after 5 years due to poor sales. We looked everywhere in Massachusetts to find one and weren't having any luck which was surprising because they were like Deloreans, there were a lot left over. We figured out why and found out we dodged a bullet.

Last June, we borrowed the MV-1 from our friend to drive across country to Wyoming. At first the ride was going fine but we noticed it was getting awfully warm in the car despite the fact the AC was on high. It became an oven on wheels. We couldn't figure out why because the car got a full check up before we left and everything worked. We asked several people we knew in the mechanic field. My friend Josh and my Uncle Paul. Unfortunately we couldn't tell them anymore because we couldn't figure it out. Eventually, Josh figured it was the hose going from the AC to the ventilation by what we were telling him and he was correct. Thanks Josh! So now that we figured it out, we had to just pick up a hose at Autozone and put it in, right? Nope!. We brought it to a garage in Nebraska down the street from the hotel to see if they had the part we needed. They see the vehicle are basically like "the fuck is that thing?!" and we were like SHIT!. Well the mechanic did some research on the vehicle and discovered the part as well as most of the parts were no longer in production, so shit again!. He found something similar from a Peterbilt Semi truck which had to be specially ordered and over-nighted from Detroit and thought he'd be able to improvise and it actually fit perfectly. We were able to finish our trip without roasting alive. That's how we knew we dodged a bullet! The MV-1 has no replacement parts and would have been a really bad investment.

A little before our trip, we visited a place in North Attleboro, MA called Mobility Works who are a vendor for handicapped accessible vehicles and also modify them. There were 3 different vans there that we checked out all brand new. The 2022 Honda Odyssey, 2022 Toyota Sienna, and a 2022 Chrysler Pacifica. I tried the Pacifica first and immediately knew I wanted one. I tried the other two anyway just for the hell of it. They were nice but I wasn't crazy about them plus the hoyer lift didn't fit easily. So I was like I really love the Pacifica and then my mom asked the most important question, how much? It was then my hopes collapsed. The price of each one of those vans was in upwards of $85k and the "cheaper" ones were $60k+ which is really extortion for a disabled person who needs one of these vehicles. It's a necessity! I need to be able to get to my doctors appointments and plus I need to get out of my house for my mental health and I don't go crazy with cabin fever. So we were like you're going to have to give us some time to figure this out that kind of money doesn't come easy. At the time, I had recently created a GoFundMe originally for the MV-1 which didn't work out so I changed it to the Pacifica and began sharing it everywhere on Social Media. For the next few months, many of my friends shared it and/or donated to it and we made about $6k which was pretty good but we had to find another way. At that rate we'd get a van sometime in the 2030s assuming the prices weren't $300k due to the inflation we've been dealing with since the beginning of 2021 because of...well we won't go there lol. Let's just say it wasn't my fault! Anyway, we started all sorts of things to try making the money... NO not that... I mean scratch tickets and applying for grants... Get your goddamn minds out of the gutter!😁 I started to lose hope and then a couple things happened towards the end of the year which hit me hard emotionally. So my mom decided to try another vendor.

In February, my mom took a ride up to Mobility Works because they found something cheaper down in Virginia and brought it up for her to check out. It was a red 2019 Pacifica for $65k and my mom was thinking of going for it. Before she made a decision, there was another vendor, like I said, that she had contacted. Adaptive Mobility in Seekonk, MA right near my best friend/sister Kayla and Jake. We had thought about going there before but it looked like they only had big vans but we were wrong. My mom went in and told them she was looking for a newer model used Pacifica with low mileage. They had exactly what she was looking for. It was a Pearl colored 2017 Pacifica from Florida with 15k miles and it was $45k. It was perfect. The following week she brought me up and asked the owner to pretend they never met her so she could surprise me. I didn't see it coming I figured we were going to look at vehicles that we could only dream of owning. But I realized it when she was talking about when we could come pick it up and I was so excited. Honestly I almost cried lol. We couldn't take it that day because it needed a couple modifications, namely the automatic tie-down system. They had to order the part which took about a week and then I had to bring my wheelchair up to be fitted for the tie-down unit. The day we drove my chair up for the fitting, the Fords flywheel broke apart out of the blue and we broke down on the entrance to interstate195 in Wareham, MA. Thankfully we have AAA and we called a tow truck. We also called Adaptive Mobility and they came to pick us up because the van couldn't be towed with me in it. That was the last time I saw the inside of the old girl... It was bittersweet because that van and my family have been through a lot and gone so many places. She will always have a special place in my heart. 

We were able to rent out the van they sent to rescue us because the new/used van wasn't prepared yet and we needed to be able to get home. It was a pretty nice van too! It was a charcoal 2019 Dodge Grand Caravan with black rims and was similar in size to the Pacifica on the inside. We had that for the weekend and on that Monday the my mom returned it to the place in Seekonk and then drove the new van home. That weekend we went for our first ride, at least my first ride, in the new van. We drove up to Provincetown, MA and along the national seashore for the maiden voyage. I'm so happy with this vehicle and I hope for some great road trips in the near future. It was a long time coming to get to this point and I'm grateful to my mom for finding it.

Thank you so much for reading my post!



 

Friday, April 14, 2023

The day I stopped walking.

Hi everyone,

This is my story about the day Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy took away the use of my legs. This is a bit of an emotional subject for me.

I stopped walking overnight...

It was August 1991, I was 9 years old. I remember I had to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and everything seemed fine. I climbed back into bed and went back to sleep. That was the last time I ever used my legs.
For a couple years before I was gradually losing strength in my legs and walking was becoming increasingly difficult. I was falling a lot and I couldn't climb stairs without help but I could still do it. So in the morning, I tried to get out of bed and my legs were not cooperating and were like "nope we're all done" and I fell back on the bed. I kept trying and I just couldn't do it. I started to cry because I was scared and couldn't figure out what was going on. I called out to my grandfather to come and help me. He came in the room and asked what I needed and I said I can't stand up. He tried to help me up and he was getting me to my feet where I could stand but whenever I tried to take a step my legs gave out and my grandfather had to catch me. My grandfather was becoming emotional because he felt helpless but also he knew this day was coming eventually. I too knew someday that I wouldn't be able to walk but I wasn't ready for that. I wanted to keep being able to walk. I kept saying I wasn't ready and I want to keep walking. He didn't know what to do because my grandmother was out and my mom was working so he tried his best to comfort me and he was doing a pretty good job. For the next couple weeks I used the wall to move around the house and hoping maybe it was temporary. Eventually I gave it up and accepted the fact that I was never going to walk again and I began using my manual chair in the house because the scooter was too big. I adapted pretty quickly which is something I'm good at, adapting. This was one of the many things taken from me over the last 30 years because of this illness. I think it affected my grandparents and my mom more than me. They knew it was coming sooner or later and I did too. It still sucked for all of us though. Being able to walk one day then unable to the next is traumatizing especially to a child.   

People with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy can't do too much physically but we are grateful for the things we can still do and are grateful to the people in our lives who make us happy. Life is short and we try to share that short time with the people we love and care about. Keep those people close to you!πŸ’š

Just a little about my grandfather, Francis. My grandfather was born sometime in 1924. He enlisted in the US Army during the Second World War but, due to being hit in the eye with an arrow as a child, he was discharged because he couldn't aim the M1- Garand rifle. After that Francis married my grandmother Patricia in 1950, had 7 children in the next few decades, and  worked his ass off as an amazing mechanic as well as a couple other jobs to take care of his family. He was a great man who loved me and my mom as well as his other children and his wife. I think the stress of my disease progression may have accelerated my grandfathers dementia and led to the subsequent alzheimer's disease. It was really sad as a child and eventually a teen to watch him slowly lose his memory and forget things that were second nature to him. Eventually he didn't know who any of us were and one time asked me why I was in a wheelchair. He passed away in March of 2000 of pneumonia with my grandmother, his wife of nearly 50 years, by his side in a Veterans Affairs Hospital in Bedford, MA. Grandpa we miss you! Thank you for your military service despite it being short and thank you for your service of taking care of your family!πŸ’–πŸ™

Thank you for reading!